Twelve Months

I love this little girl to pieces. She can be the sweetest little girl but oh, does she have attitude. I think she gets that from Dustin, ha.

Dustin thinks Harlowe looks like him but has my eyes but I guess time will tell, she looks a little like both of us hopefully, ha.

Why do babies have the softest, porcelain like skin? It makes you want to smother them in kisses all the time.

My baby is still a baldie and most people still think she is a boy, even with pink on, REALLY? She would make the cutest little boy though, just kidding Harlowe. Her personality is growing by the day, she makes new expressions and finds new ways to throw temper tantrums. I never knew it would start so early but we are in the mist of one hard headed little girl.

It was so funny, Dustin and I were just lounging around on the couches in our living room and Harlowe loves to eat dog food for some reason. She loves to get into Harley's dog dishes, who knew dog food could taste so good, ha.

Anyway, diverting from the point, I always tell her no, don't eat Harley's dog food but she gets so mad when you dig it out of her mouth. Dustin finally broke down and said, at least it is organic dog food so let her have at it. I really don't let her have at it but if she gets a few pieces, we have stopped chasing her down to try to get it out of her mouth. Bad parenting but hey, we have learned to pick our battles. My poor baby, Harley, knows better and doesn't eat the dog food unless he is starving or mixed with human food so he doesn't mind her digging around his food.

Okay, back to the point, we were lounging and Harlowe had dumped all of Harley's water out of his dish on to the floor. She was running around with the water dish, waving it in our faces, thinking look at me now. So Dustin the disciplinarian, raises his voice in mean daddy form and says, "No, Harlowe, No!" Of course, she just pranced back and forth waving it in our faces, so Dustin tries it again. Needless to say after the third yelling and no action, I am laughing ever so lightly and he looks at me and says, "we are in big trouble".

And of course he later then blames her behaviour on me because I don't know how to discipline our daughter. Oh well, if that is the biggest crime she commits we are in good shape. I try to discipline and I am pretty consistent but some of the things she does cracks me up so maybe I am not the best parent when it comes to discipline.

Hopefully our daughter won't be a menace to society and will become the epitome of Southern lady-like manners. A girl can dream, can't she?

Off We Go

We got Harlowe a bike seat and helmet for her bday and this was our first bike ride. I guess it takes getting used to because she was not too fond of the seat, but once we got going she was okay. Do you see my baby in the background trying to catch up, poor old Harley.

She is so funny, the faces! She did not like the helmet at all but oh well, safety first, ha.

I was so nervous the first time on the bike because it is hard to stop and lean to the side to put your leg down. I felt more comfortable the second time around but it still makes me nervous because I am so afraid of crashing.

If your wondering why the seat is not on Dustin's bike it is because he frequently crashes. I know he doesn't think it is funny but I could not help but laugh when he crashes, no compassion from the wife, ha. The first time he did not see an embankment and totally flew over the bike and has a big scare on his leg to prove it. And the second time he wasn't paying attention to the mossy water and totally bit the dust, I mean totally left the bike and flew over the handlebars and did a superman skid across the sidewalk. I was saying to myself, "you cannot laugh, whatever you do, do not laugh", but I could not help myself, I busted out laughing. He was so mad, I just could not stop laughing, I really felt bad.

So needless to say she will be on my bike until I bite the dust.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. We spent Thanksgiving at Dustin's parents house and everything was delicious. We played a great game and had so much fun, we were yelling and laughing so hard, I am surprised Harlowe slept through it all. Harlowe enjoyed all the food too, because she ate so much, my little piggy.

My mother spent Thanksgiving with my brother and had a great time.

We totally forgot the camera so no pics of the family, hopefully I will remember it for Christmas.

I just found out my brother is going to Afghanistan in January so please keep him and his family in your prayers.

First Birthday Cake

These are the pictures I forgot of Harlowe and her birthday cake. I didn't get the final product, the cake, but it was so delicious. I made a strawberry cake with strawberry, cream cheese frosting. It was not sweet at all and Dustin and I engulfed the cupcakes I made from the same recipe.

As you can see Dustin smeared frosting on my poor child's face before she even tasted the cake.

Cody and London, Dustin's friend from high school and his little girl.

I made a big mistake and planned the dinner too late because Harlowe gets grouchy at night. So by the time it was cake time, she did not want anything to do with it. She barely ate it, hopefully it wasn't because of the taste, ha.

Next year will definitely be an afternoon birthday so hopefully she will be in the mood.

I wanted to thank everyone for all the great gifts and attending the dinner for Harlowe, it really means a lot to Dustin and I.

Dustin's parents got her some cute dresses for the fall and an elephant pop up ball toy. Dustin's brother, Drew got her a fun bathtub bubble toy. Dustin's grandfather gave her money which is going towards the wagon. Finally, Cody, London and Sydney got her a gift card to Toy's R Us. I am so into educational toys and Harlowe is probably not that into them but the gift card will probably be going to a Leapster of some sort.

Thanks again to everyone who made Harlowe's birthday so special. Have a great day and Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy 1st Birthday

Harlowe's fav thing is waving at everyone. She will wave and wave at people, it is the cutest thing. She did not have a big b-day bash but we had Dustin's parents over and one of Dustin's friends over for dinner.

Her faces are so funny

She is opening her cards from my mother and Great Uncle John. My mother gave us money for a new front facing car seat and John gave her a Target gift card, which we love. I really wanted to get her a wagon with the gift card because I think she would like looking around and just cruising the neighborhood.

As you can see, she is not the least bit interested in opening her gifts. Dustin had to open them for her. We got her a bike seat and a helmet. She definitely hates the helmet but the bike seat she is trying to get used to.

I totally forgot the pictures with the cake and dinner, so I will have to post those later. I think Harlowe had a good bday, we really didn't do much but hang out as a family. Which is everyday practice for us since Dustin works from home. Harlowe's bday was on Friday, so Dustin hooked up the bike seat and we took a little ride. She really didn't like it to much but I guess it takes a little time to get used to.

I cannot believe my baby is one, the time has gone by so fast. She started walking the day after her bday and now she is all over the place. She does not crawl anymore and now she is into everything. Her first shoes were a cute black pair and a pink pair of little Converse, size 4. 

Most people would think of me as a girly girl, wrong, ha. So as you can see, Harlowe has not been a girly girl yet. She is rarely in a dress and no big bow head bands for her, hence the Converse. But when she gets hair look out, I love the cute little bow clips. Although, Dustin will probably be doing her hair because he thinks he is a fashionista, ha. 

She has six teeth: four on top and two on bottom, but now she is getting two more in on the bottom. She still eats pretty much everything but really she loves the meat, sad to say, ha. Anyone who knows me, knows I love the fish and veggies. Although, she loves her veggies which makes me proud.

Sadly to say, I am still trying to wean her from the boob. I think it will be a uphill battle with us, we have cut it down to once a day which is at night only. Dustin says she will probably be five, running up to me saying, "I want boob", ha. Trust me I am tired of being the human pacifier so anyone with some tips, call me!!

She is pretty much on track with clothing and wears 12-18months. She wears a size three diaper still and is petite for her age per Dr. Zuniga. She is on the 10th percentile with weight but I guess I will not have a sumo wrestler for a child, ha.

She loves dancing with her dad and Dustin swings her around and drops her on the bed like a human cannon ball, but she loves it. She still loves to be held and Dustin says she is a lap baby but she is my only baby so she is spoiled. She loves to point at everything and say, um, um. And when you get the wrong thing for her she will definitely make a face and push things away. Our girl knows what she wants and wants it now, hopefully we, not really we mostly I, are not creating a monster.

I know I say this a lot but God has really blessed me with such a wonderful family and a wonderful life. I should count my blessings more often but every time I look into Harlowe's face, my heart melts. I love this little girl to pieces, an indescribable love.

Happy 1st Bday Harlowe!

Ten Months

These pictures are out of order again, so she is looking quite tired by the end of the picture session.We were about to go to our neighborhood pool, which I don't think we will be going to again. When I was young, I remember having such a great time at the pool but now that I am a lot older, not so fun. The water was hot and there was nothing really to do, but stand around in pee pee infested water, ha. I really, really want a boat and I think I am slowly but surly convincing Dustin to cave in once we get all our ducks in a row.

Waving is her new thing now. We have to coax her to wave to strangers but she loves to wave bye-bye and hi. She does two different types of waves, her Miss America wave and a grasping type wave, so cute.

I love this little face, I just want to smother her in kisses.

At ten months she had four little teeth, two on the top and two on the bottom. Now she has six teeth, two more on the top. She loves to crunch things in her teeth to hear the sound but lately she has been trying to swallow her cereal, organic peanut butter balls, whole and choking on it. I really do not like to give her the cereal because it is processed so maybe it is my fault, since I don't introduce it to her enough.

I cannot really remember what we were doing the last couple of months, bad I know. My brain has not recouped from pregnancy, and I am afraid it never will. I don't know if this happens to everyone but most of my friends agree, after being prego and having a baby your brain or memory is not the same.

I tell people all the time at work, because everyone always asks to see a picture of Harlowe, I am just trying to make it through the day, let alone take a picture of the poor girl. My poor baby, but I am trying to whip out the camera every once in awhile. Although, the camera we have is like professional grade so you need to assemble it before picture time and to put it bluntly, I am a lazy son of a gun.

Ok, let me try my hardest to remember. Harlowe loves the water and maybe she will enjoy swimming. She is blowing bubbles in the bath tub but sometimes she gets confused and sucks the water up instead. She is now blowing bubbles in water glasses, she grabs at my straw and starts making noises and blowing bubbles. So cute, but it is not a pleasant grab, yet more of a give me that straw now, lady. This girl has a little personality and a big attitude. Wonder where she got that, DUSTIN, ha. Just kidding, we both have attitudes so she is going to be one stubborn little girl.

She still does not like the sippy cup and prefers the sippy with the straw. I am trying very hard to wean her from the bottle but its not happening. Weaning her from the boob and the bottle, stress! I cannot get Dustin on board with stopping the bottle because she is still a grouch at bedtime, so he sticks to what they both know. Sorry Dr. Zuniga, our baby will probably be on the bottle until kindergarten, ha.

I know we started her on whole milk around 11 months because I was out of breast milk and didn't want to switch to formula for one month. She has done really good with the transition, no complaints thus far. She is drinking Horizon, organic milk because that is what Dustin likes. He says it is sweeter than Promise Land, who knew, because I refuse to take a sip of milk. I cannot stand milk but I will drink it up if it is flavored and in coffee, crazy!

I really thought I am a little obsessed about the whole organic thing and I know I have said this before. But my friend Mona said she is pretty particular about it too and had a pretty good reasoning which I forgot about. She says she gives her children organic milk and food because of the hormones they contain and this will prevent premature puberty. Pretty smart huh, I totally forgot about prepubescence.

Oh, I have some exciting news, I am going to see Dr. Weinstock today and he is going to slice and dice the skin ball off of my tongue. I know that sounds so gross but I am so excited, hopefully after this, I will be good to go. I am taking a few days off of work again, so hopefully this will be the last thing on the agenda. I will keep everyone updated but thanks again to everyone for all their support and prayers.

I think on my last blog, I left out Dustin's uncle John, thank you for always checking up on me to see how things are going. I really am blessed with such great, caring people in my life.

Have a great day and don't forget to be greatful for all the little things in life!

Fourth of July

Daddy giving Harlowe sugar

My mother and Harlowe

Harlowe enjoying her first rib, Dustin's idea of course. She takes after Dustin's side of the family and my mother because she loves the meat. She will pick meat over fish, what is a mother to do? But hopefully she will like sushi, one day:)

I love this picture, she just melts my heart.

I am so behind on the blogging and I have so much to share with everyone. First and foremost, I am doing pretty good and my surgery went well. I have the most wonderful ENT surgeon who specializes in oncology, he is so personable and his bedside manner is impeccable. He even gave Dustin and I his cell phone number and I warned him, big mistake giving Dustin his cell phone number. I told him Dustin is chatty Kathy when it comes to the phone, the boy has no shame, poor Dr. Weinstock, ha.

The day of the surgery, I wasn't nervous and I remember being pretty calm, but it was probably due to the fact, we were running late so I had no time to ponder over things. Dustin said the surgery was quick and I was pretty out of it when I went to recovery. All I remember is waking up and seeing Dustin and Dr. Weinstock, who was trying to go over what to expect when I got home. Big mistake because I was so out of it, I couldn't remember anything.

When I got home and probably a couple of days after, I was feeling really good and proud of myself because I was not in that much pain. I only took Tylenol and Motrin so I could continue to breast feed. We even planned a trip to go to Corpus Christi so I could recover by the beach. It ended in utter disaster because of course I did not bring any of my pain medication because I was doing so well. The day after we got there, I was in so much pain and it was totally unbearable, we had to leave. Although, the weather was gorgeous and our condo was very nice, at least we were able to enjoy a day or so on the beach.

I took three weeks off of work and much needed, I cannot lie, having surgery on my tongue sucked to put it bluntly. I had to always hold my tongue a certain way in my mouth to avoid rubbing it against my teeth and I could only drink on one side on my mouth. At first I kinda got annoyed I couldn't eat but it was so painful to eat, I got over it real fast. It seems like I am still recovering because a month or so ago I bite the side of my tongue, the side where he sliced me up, ha. I guess my tongue is not healing properly because there is a big ball of sensitive skin there, gross, I know. I thought it would have healed by now so I kept it to myself but recently I told Dustin because it has really been bothering me. It is like I have a food aversion because it is hard to eat and always gets caught on my teeth. Even when I try to talk or swallow the thing seems to constantly get caught, annoying to say the least.

So the plan is: consult Dr. Weinstock and hopefully he can just chop it off, that is how annoyed I am. But I am all good with that and I am praying that will be the answer. I am at my wits end and am tired of talking like Elmer Fud and being the human sprinkler when I am talking, ha!

Although, the long term plan for me is to be monitored closely for two years and I will get a CT scan every three months. The type of cancer I had, apperently likes to spread so that is why he is going to monitor me so long. I really wanted another child but the baby making machine is on hold for now, per Dr. Weinstock's request. I was kinda depressed about it and I think Dustin saw it on my face when he told me. But the kind hearted husband that he is said maybe we can wait for a year and see how you are, then maybe start trying. My husband is the best husband in the world, he is my best friend and God has truly blessed me.

Reading the blog, it seems kinda negative but all in all I really cannot complain. I am healthy and happy, I have a wonderful family and support system and despite everything, I have a blessed life. I want to thank Dustin for being so supportive and wonderful through this whole ordeal. I really could not have gotten through it without him.

I want to thank my mother who came to stay with me for two weeks. She helped Dustin and I so much with Harlowe and taking care of me. She is a remarkable woman and I admire her strength and loving heart.

Thank you to Dustin's family who are so supportive and caring. I am blessed to have such remarkable in-laws.

Thank you to all my friends and brother for all the calls and texts. I have a great set of friends and a wonderful brother who are so thoughtful and kind.

Thank you to my grandparents and Aunt Janet and Uncle Roger for the thoughtful cards. I really appreciate everyone's thoughts and prayers.

Most of all Thank God who has always set the path even though I might not know the end result. I know I have said this a million times but my life is a blessing. I never knew my life would end up here but it is an amazing life!

Parker's Second BIrthday

Parker wearing Harlowe's new summer hat; which, now she doesn't like to wear hats anymore, she just pulls them off her head.

Fred (my brother) placing candles on Parker's birthday cake. My mom made him a blueberry cake because he just loves blueberries. He pretty much loves fruit, he is already a health nut, ha.

My brother and his family came to San Antonio for a visit this summer and it was a nice treat. Usually I only get to see them once a year during Christmas time, so it was nice to catch up. 

Christina and Parker cutting the cake.

I guess I haven't blogged in awhile and I really regret it because I really wanted to keep updated pics of Harlowe. So she could look back on this blog and see how much we love her and how she has evolved.

I have been going through my own trials lately and I haven't handled it so smoothly but now I have been trying to be on the up and up.

Last month my dentist, really the dental hygienist found a spot on the underside of my tongue which is squamous cell carcinoma. The dentist took a biopsy from that area and another area on the side of my tongue which was the same thing. I remembered a couple of years ago biting my tongue in Puerto Rico and hurting so bad but not thinking anything of it because the area healed and no more pain.

So for the past month, I have been living in limbo because I knew the results were positive but now we were seeing multiple doctors to find out what the plan would be. I am saying we because my poor husband had to endure my craziness. We went to an oral surgeon first because my dentist thought it would take forever to see an oncologist, which he was right.

At this point I did my due diligence and researched all my options which made the whole situation worse, but I was well informed. Once we arrived at the oral surgeon's office with Harlowe in tow, which was stressful in itself because she was not the most patient and neither was my husband. The ADHD makes him very impatient, ha. So I was one big ball of stress and to top it off while I was pacing around the room with Harlowe we heard a lady in the next room crying and screaming in pain. I looked at Dustin and wanted to run for my life. I was thinking this guy is not touching me with a ten foot pole, ha!

He was really nice and after looking at my tongue, running around like a crazy person trying to call his friend who happened to be a surgeon who specialized in oncology, whew! He kinda heightened my stress level but was very thoughtful and polite about the whole thing. All I could remember him saying is, " your so young (thanks doc, ha!) and you don't smoke or drink so I really want to help you." I think he really felt sorry for me, but he made some calls and got me into see Dr. Weinstock the very next week.

I was a big mess and I pretty much walled myself off, not wanting to tell anyone and not wanting to face Dustin's family at Sunday dinner. I just could not face anyone without totally breaking down. I think I pretty much cried every other day, my poor, poor husband. Dustin was and still is so good to me, he was and always will be my rock. He made all the phone calls and researched his little butt off for me. I really could not have got through this without him.

Finally, we got to see Dr. Weinstock and he is so nice and my age, which is good because he should have a steady hand, ha. He was so nice to get me in so quickly and cleared his clinic day just for me. I was a crazy person asking all sorts of questions, I think I even surprised Dustin. The appointment didn't go so well because he scoped me and found a lump in the back of my throat so he took a biopsy of that area too. Which meant another week I would have to wait for the biopsy results, and let me tell you I was an utter mess.

My mind went crazy with all types of options: am I going to have to have radiation, is he going to have to cut my neck and take lymph nodes, and how am I going to take off work, I am out of vacation time. These things kept on swirling around in my head. My faith is pretty strong but I totally fell short because I let the fear take over. Needless to say, it wasn't my finest hour and Dustin even said, "this is not like you, you are usually strong". I feel envious of the people who can give it all to God and let go. I was praying everyday for God to just let me let it go, because I knew it is all in his hands. But all I could think about was am I making the right medical decisions for myself and my family? I told Dustin many times, if it was just me I wouldn't care as much but I have Harlowe now so I really felt overwhelmed.

All in all, thank the Lord, my throat biopsy came back negative and hopefully Dr. Weinstock will only have to take the part of my tongue which is affected. He will only know once I am in surgery if he has to take out my lymph nodes which means Frankenstein drains out of my neck. He said he would have to make an incision from my ear to my clavicle, ouch. You would think with all this medical technology they could do it laproscopically and only make a small incision. How can they take a big, old baby out of your belly and leave a small cut but have to chop up your neck, ha. I am praying it is only my tongue and the pain will be at a minimum. Although he said it is a painful procedure, so the upside is maybe I will lose a few pounds, ha.

I am on the Cancer floor tonight and God has really put it into perspective for me. Why am I such a Debbie Downer when this whole floor is full of children who don't deserve to fight something like this.

I am thankful of so many things in life and here are a few: my loving, kind and most of all funny husband who puts a smile on my face each and everyday. A man who truly loves me and a man who is a great father to our daughter.

My beautiful daughter who makes any day so much better. I remember feeling sorry for myself and sitting on the couch asking her to give me a minute while I cry. She just crawled over to me and climbed up my legs and gave me the biggest smile that just melt my heart, so I wiped my eyes and smiled back at her and got over it real quick.

My family especially my mother who has called me everyday since I found out.

Dustin's family who have been so supportive and who is always kind to me.

My friend's who have been praying for me and lift me up when I am feeling sorry for myself.

Funny to say but my companion, good old Harley, he loves me no matter what.

My job which I am lucky to have, because so many do not.

I really appreciate the little things now, fresh clean sheets, the warm sun on my face, the smell of rain, the sound of the ocean.

I am most thankful that God has blessed me with the life I am living, I could not have asked for anything more.

Thanks to everyone who has prayed for me and kept me in their thoughts. I am having surgery on Thursday so I will keep everyone updated since I won't be able to talk. Dustin is probably thanking his lucky stars, ha.

Wonderful Wednesday

This is what I had to brave today, we are infested with mosquito's. It makes me not even want to go outside; so needless to say, no running for me for a long time. Good excuse, right? Today was a girls day, because Dustin had to work, and I had to make a mad dash to the car without getting eaten alive by these lovely creatures. My poor baby looks like she has chicken pox because she is so eaten, ha. It is like every time I open the door, ten come flying into the house. Dustin even sprayed our yard with mosquito killer and they are still there, hopefully we won't get West Nile, ha. 

If your wondering why I took this picture, I didn't. I didn't believe Dustin when he said there were killer mosquito's outside our door so he took a picture of them for me. 

Harley hanging out on the couch

Harlowe is crawling around the house like no tomorrow, you can see a preview of her little teeth.

Harlowe didn't take a noon time nap so she is looking pretty spacey. Oh, Dustin is in the bath with her having a ball with the bubbles. I think Dustin likes the bubbles more than Harlowe, ha. These bubbles are sugar based so it won't irritate her eyes if they happen to get in her face. Thanks, Christina (my sister-in-law) for the great bubbles, Dustin and Harlowe love them and play with them with each bath.

This was the dessert I made tonight, key lime pie with a graham cracker crust, yum. I haven't tried it yet so hopefully it tastes as good as it looks. I have been the domestic diva one night a week for my husband and tonight is the night. We had salmon with Indian curry, coconut sauce, with sauteed spinach and Dustin was nice enough to help me with the fried rice.

I even made a croissant french toast bake for tomorrow morning. It is croissant's soaked with a custard; made of eggs, milk, mashed banana's, and maple syrup, I also added blueberries and almonds. It is really kinda like a breakfast bread pudding. As you can see, I love to cook and I love to talk about cooking. Since Harlowe eats table food now, it seems like I have to plan ahead and cook more which I don't mind.

Oh, for Dustin's parents and my mother, the above picture is of the new granite we have in the kitchen.

This was more or less our exciting day, I haven't blogged in awhile and I have lots to blog about. Harlowe had her nine month doctors appointment and she passed with flying colors, we did not have to get immunizations this visit, hallelujah. She had her lead test and iron tested which were normal.

Her weight was 16lbs 15oz which is the 20th%, height: 27.5 in. which is the 45th%, head: 44cm which is the 50th%. I was a little concerned about her weight but Dr. Zuniga was not concerned at all because she said, babies her age become more active and taper off when it comes to weight. And Harlowe is active from the moment she wakes up to the time she goes to bed.